The Loss of Sexual Interest in Women

Did you know, when you read this article, more or less than one in three women who know have lost interest in this seks.Why did this all happen ...?

"The loss of libido in women, or sexual desire is very low, is a common sexual problem for women so that they seek sex therapy," said one health expert Patricia Koch, Ph.D., Associate Professor of Biobehavioral Health & Women's Studies at Pennsylvania State University and Adjunct Professor of Human Sexuality at Widener University. "It affects anywhere from 33% to 67% of women, depending on how sexual desire is defined and reported," according to Koch, who specializes in research on women loss of libido.

This also can occur in men, but because it only affects about half of many men as women, not men for sex. (See Loss of Libido in Men for more information about it.) So, what exactly is meant loss of libido for women and why it happened? WebMD consulted with experts in the field of sexuality to answer not only the cause, but also maintenance.

What Would Mean Loss of Libido?

"Sexual desire is one of the most difficult to determine because it is more psychological than physiological," said Koch, who is also president of the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality.

Edward Laumann, lead author of the Social Organization of Sexuality, a compendium of survey data on sexual practices in the United States, offers a simple definition: "This is a lack of interest in sex for several months in the past year."

In short, she knew that when they do not feel it.

Is Lost Libido in Women Normal?

"Do not call the loss of libido disorders," said Laumann. "How can a dysfunction if one-third of women, no matter what their age, report that they lose interest?

"This is normal," he said, and more and more researchers agree.

"Low sexual desire is not a disease, it is understood the results of an imbalance in your life ... in your relationships, your life circumstances or your body," wrote Kathryn Hall, Ph.D. in Reclaiming Your Sexual Self: How You Can Bring Desire Back into Your Life.

Just because the loss of libido in women is normal and common, however, does not mean you can not fix it. Many women feel as if they let their partner down. They also feel isolated and abandoned in today's sexually charged world in which powerful people, from models in underwear ads for doctors on TV, seems to think something other than sex. It is as if "you're the only person who did not get the joke," wrote Hall.

Even worse, losing interest in sex can mean you lose more than just one of the few non-fattening life of pleasure. Can begin to drain the excitement out of the rest of your life, too.

"I saw this lady [the patient] yesterday - for eight years he was not sexually attracted to; that he thought about was taking care of her four children and her husband," says Esther Perel, a couples therapist and family in New York City, and author of Marriage in Detention : Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic.

"And then slowly, all the other pleasures go, too. Food. Swimming. Everything about the fun he was gone, one by one. He was numb," Perel said.

There are things women can do to rekindle the desire and bring back the passion and enjoyment in their lives. But the first step is to understand why you might lose interest.

Why Does It Happen? Causes Loss of Libido in Women

* Biology plays an important role in the loss of libido.
For women, sex can have serious consequences - a baby to care for twenty years. Not surprising that women seem hard-wired to approach sex with fewer leaves than males.
"This is a control device - pregnancy is a threatening condition for women - it makes them vulnerable, they can not run from predators," said Laumann. Men can have sex all the time, Laumann said - it does not make them vulnerable. But for women it is much more risky, which can cause loss of libido.

* Socialization in our culture cause loss of libido in women.
If biology does not get you will be the social standard.
"We found that women got a message from the public about the double standard has a large influence their sexual desire," said Koch. "I work with college women, and even though we have Sex and the Cityon TV says you can sex, women still get the message that is not OK. Men are seen as studs if they are sexual, but she is still called a whore."

* The quality of relationships affects the libido.
"For women, the desire that causes the connection in the relationship. If we do not talk and connect, we do not have sex - for men, they are connected in sex," said Perel.
Koch agreed. For the women, "it is not what happens in the bedroom - their desire arises when they interact with their partner, just touching, talking, when they go to hike or picnic, which began to make their sexual attraction," said Koch. If the quality of non-intimate sexual contact but not treated, most women just will not feel "in the mood."

* Hormones affect libido.
"Hormonal fluctuations with pregnancy, breastfeeding [leading to increased levels of prolactin] - and then with perimenopause at a later date can all reduce the desires," says Eva Ritvo, MD, Chairman of the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Medicine at Mount Sinai Medical Center, Florida, and author The Concise Guide to Marital and Family Therapy.

Vaginal dryness, which can be caused by declining estrogen levels, can make sex painful and cause loss of libido. Testosterone levels also affect libido in men and women - and for women who used hormone peak in the mid 20s and decline from there until menopause, when levels drop dramatically.

* Medical conditions and medications can cause loss of libido.
Depression and SSRI antidepressants are used to treat can also inhibit desire. So can certain blood-pressure-lowering drugs. Conditions such as endometriosis, fibroids and thyroid disorders can also cause loss of libido in women.

* Change the stages of life - and stress - influence libido.
Life changes - especially the birth of a child - can cause loss of libido in women. "Among women surveyed in their 20s with a child under five or six - their lack of interest doubled and tripled," said Laumann. "You do not need to be a rocket scientist to know it - the stress and physical fatigue is a big factor." Other life changes, such as losing a job or watching the children leave the nest, all can trigger stress and reduce libido.

10 Tips for Rekindling Sexual Desire

Remember, the frequency is not the size of a healthy sex drive. Your feelings are what count. If you are looking forward to sex, and feel good about it, before during and after, it is the true measure of libido. Here's how to help make your love life more interesting and satisfying.

1. Try selfishness to increase libido. "The thing that most inhibits desire in women is MAINTENANCE - taking care of children, taking care of my husband," says Perel. "Care to make a woman think about others. However, if you can not selfishly - in the most positive terms is the ability to focus on myself in front of others - you can not achieve orgasm."
2. Focus on small, private pleasures. For women with four children who come to the office Perel, feeling asexual and numb to all the fun, Perel will not recommend a date with her husband. He suggested that she focus on her own simple pleasures. Hire a babysitter and go to the cinema, enjoy a fragrant, relaxing bath - to remind himself, he is entitled to feel pleasure. Start small and build.
3. Reconnect with safe and non-sexual to combat loss of libido.
For many couples, before you can think about improving the sex, it is important to improve intimate relationships. David Schnarch, director of Marriage and the Family Health Center in Evergreen, CO, and author of Passionate Marriage, recommend Hug-Until-You-Relax technique. This is just a long hug, with two couples dressed, going 5-to-10 minutes - until you feel relaxed and peaceful. This reconnection - "keep your sense of self when you are emotionally and physically close to others," says Schnarch - is the basis of passion in a relationship.
4. Changing the landscape fuels libido in women: Passion feeds on a sense of newness and excitement - boredom is the enemy. "When things get routine sick libido," Ritvo said. "Get a hotel room, even in your own town, for the night, to spice it all." Changes or room in the house - who says sex is always happening in the bedroom?
5. Try self-stimulation to help loss of libido: "Women are more likely to be able to masturbate more satisfied with a partner and experience orgasm more consistent," said Koch. "This is a myth that if women enjoy masturbation, they do not want a partner - it is the opposite. You learn what feels good and you could argue that to your partner, and guide your partner," said Koch.
6. Talk about what you like and want to increase libido: The worst thing you can do, if you have been avoiding sex together, is to stop talking about it as if the problem will disappear. To keep the distance between you from growing, talk about your willingness to connect. Read sex books together, look at the pictures, laugh - and let your partner know what you want him to try with you - next time - to let go of any direct pressure.
7. Use a lubricant to combat loss of libido in women. Vaginal dryness does not have the pleasure of the road. If you go outside the local pharmacy to a sex shop (see Tip 10), you can find various types of lubricants, in a variety of taste and smell. Just shopping for them together can be erotic. Estrogen cream, applied directly into the vagina, can help increase vaginal secretions. Unlike oral estrogens that carry some risk of cancer, estrogen cream is generally considered safe. However, talk to your doctor about whether this treatment may be appropriate for you before you try it.
8. Do not worry about how you look ... naked and vice versa. "Research shows that women are more harsh in evaluating their own bodies than men are," said Koch. "Your partner may find you more interesting than you think you are." So, relax and be kinder to yourself - enjoy.
9. Focus on the whole body to combat loss of libido. Where sexual satisfaction is concerned, paradoxically, the longer, winding route to the shortest path to joy. Do not directly to the genitals - encourage your partner, with examples, to tease and make a detour. Be pleasure oriented, not goal oriented. Continue to take your time even when you shift gears to a more sexual mode. And remember, it was not the only job your partner to turn you on, should begin with your wishes.
10. Have realistic expectations to avoid loss of libido. Realistic in your expectations. Women may take about three times longer (or more) to reach orgasm as a man and, by some estimates, only "26% of women reported that they always have an orgasm," Laumann said. But even without the Big O, women report enjoying sex and feel closer to their partner afterwards. So mentally shift gears from Mommy Mode for Sex Goddess Mode. And give yourself to try new things - you may surprise yourself. "Nothing is absolute - clothing, sex toys, pornography - it was a successful and safe and consensual and pleasing to both sides," Ritvo said.